Temptation to Sin

30 08 2010

It’s enormous. Sometimes I can’t decide if I’m genuinely tired or I’m just in the habit of not doing anything, so I’m lazy. Also, it’s easier to avoid something I’m not that keen on – you know, I’m not really well enough. Other times, pride kicks in and I want to prove I can do something so I do it in my own strength and fall flat on my face. Self pity is another danger. It’s so not fair – I could be doing so much good if I was feeling better. Yeah right.

Another area I struggle with is the social sphere. I want to avoid people much of the time and long to be a recluse. That’s not feasible at the best of times but when you’re married to my husband (which you’re not, so you’ll just have to take my word for it) it’s totally impossible. The man needs company at the same level you and I need oxygen. Having said that, when I do mix with others, invariably I feel better for it. Getting the balance right is what I’m working on, and gradually I’m enjoying company more.

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